“A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.”
I have come across countless articles on Thought Catalog and Elite Daily about “How to spot your one true love” or “How to know that He’s worth keeping?” With the advent of more opportunities for women. We are now in the millennial age where women are not simply constrained to the household tending to the chores, the kids and the husband but at the same time striking a balance with her kick-ass, high flying corporate job.
We have all been there, those immature, naive and impulsive days wherein you would just “settle” for something or someone just because you’re lonely or maybe you’re lost trying to navigate your way into the tedious world of dating and hunting.
So How do you really know if He’s right for you?
I don’t really know and I maybe am not credible enough to provide you with all the answers since our opinions are subjectively formed.
So How did I know? I presume this might be the correct question to ask.
I have a penchant on listing anything that comes to my mind, from my daily itineraries, to my thoughts. I just love scribbling them all down on a piece of paper or on a journal so that I don’t miss out on anything worthwhile.
When I was 17 years old, I jotted down on a piece of paper all my qualifications for a guy and if ever he would be able to meet them or surpass my set standards then maybe he would be right for me.
However, things don’t always pan out the way you planned them to be, and sometimes we are awaken up from our blind ideologies and superficial beliefs towards the realities of this thing called “life”.
I always thought a handsome guy with 6 pack washboard taut abs would make me happy and would make any girl swoon with that seemingly “butterflies in your stomach” feeling that would last a lifetime.
But what I didn’t know then that I know now, was that there was more to a good physique and good looks.
The personality and the core moral values are more pertinent and what you should really look for in your future partner. So here’s a friendly guide on what to look for in a guy (My version)
1. He should be your best friend, your partner in crime, your confidant (whom you can unabashedly convey all your deep down fears and insecurities.
2. He can see how moody, annoying and childish you can become but still wants to be with you and assuages you that he’s here to stay and would never leave you out in the cold since you’re a team.
3. He encourages your dreams and aspirations even though it might hurt him in the process like you venturing out abroad for better employment opportunities. (While he’s going to be left here)
4. Find someone who actively wants to be part of your life despite him not really being into it in the first place (like running, photography or blogging). He wants to entwine his lifestyle with yours since he knows how important your hobbies are to you.
5. He wants to try out new food joints (even though it’s like a hole-in- the wall) place, adventures (cooking lessons, participating in a fun run, traveling) despite it not being his thing.
6. He makes you a priority in his life and doesn’t forget to update you or call you within the day to regale you with stories of how his day went and he also wants to know how yours went as well. (The concern here is genuine, you can sense it in the voice and the tone.)
7. He fights with you in your battles and for you. He constantly assuages you that he wants a future with you and that he envisions having a family someday, when the time is right with you. He also secures your fears and insecurities that “You are beautiful and he is very lucky to have you”. He also fights your battles with you, he helps you resolve your innermost “demons” and conflicts by finding a better solution to your dilemma after giving it much thought.
8. He defends you. Haters will always be present and you can’t please everybody. People will always have something to say behind your back whether it’s good or bad and sometimes the good you do gets forgotten and the bad that you did gets magnified. Despite the fact, that people will have something to lash about he doesn’t let all this affect you guys and tells you that “You’re worth it” “You’re worth everything”
9. He’s thoughtful with you. He doesn’t need prodding or nagging or you demanding him to do this and that since he already knows your likes, wants and needs. He comes up with these cute little surprises for you like a “monopod” “boxes of buko juice” “creamy yogurt bottles”, a watch (You can use on a daily basis, since he knows how much value you put on your time), a cute minion stuffed toy (since he knows you like stuffed toys) and the likes.
10. He loves you unconditionally. There will be countless times when you would get on each others nerves and would want to kill each other. But, despite these trying times and those seemingly petty arguments, he values your relationship more and he thinks all these little creases along the way can be ironed out because what you have is worth it.
11. He proves that chivalry is not dead. He is the perfect gentleman, he still opens the doors for you, he sees to it that you’re not having a hard time and offers to carry your burdensome back pack loaded with your laptop and books despite him having a load of his own to carry as well.
He is also consistent with his actions even though you’ve been together for a long time.
When you find this kind of guy, never let him go. Because guy’s like these are such diamonds in a world muddled with too many pebbles and rocks. I guess, I am just fortunate to have found all of these above mentioned traits in one person.